You know I’ve often wondered why it is we have children in the first place and the conclusion I’ve come to is at some point in our lives we realize things are, they’re messed up beyond repair. So we decide to start again, wipe the slate clean, start fresh and we have children, little carbon copies we can turn to and say, you will do things I cannot. You will succeed where I have failed because we want someone to get it right this time. But not me, personally speaking, I cannot wait to see life tear you apart. India, who are you? You were supposed to love me, weren’t you?
by far the funniest thing on this site is when people said “stupid is a slur, instead use [synonym for stupid]” and everyone thought it was super progressive
I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it.
Normal Horoscope
Aries: The stars say you’ve got an idea floating around in your head that you’ve been meaning to pitch. If you do, be prepared for everyone in a two kilometer radius to shriek in terror.
Taurus: Your relationship with money is about to go to the next level. You will be able to cast the great fireball spell. Wear a condom.
Gemini: It is impossible for you to fake things. Everything you do will be unfortunately horrifically genuine.
Cancer: Today is gonna start fast, so get ready as all of time dilates to catch up with how fast today moves and you are snapped to the end of the universe.
Leo: Looks like you’ve got a secret admirer Leo. Well let the stars and I shed some light on that, your new beau will be Royalty Free Music Legend Kevin MacLeod.
Virgo: When was the last time you hosted a party? Next time you decide to open your home, prepare for some uninvited guests. Possibly related: the next time you decide to host a party will coincide with the second coming of Christ.
Libra: Looks like an apology is in order Libra. The stars say to write your feelings on a piece of paper, run as fast as you can, and staple it to their face before they have a chance to hold you accountable for your actions.
Scorpio: Today a topical political joke you will make will cause someone to die of asphyxiation because they laughed too hard. Are you prepared to take a life Scorpio?
Ophiuchus: Some souls would find heaven beautiful but lonely. The angels of the void are unfeeling and terribly terribly merciful.
Sagittarius: Crying over spilled milk does nobody any good. Hire a hitman. Some things can never be forgiven.
Capricorn: Try some focus/visualization techniques to create your own sentient thoughtforms to carry out your desire of having someone to play mario with.
Aquarius: The drama with your friends will come to a resolution while you are out in the yard learning to nurse new plants.
Pisces: If youre setting expectations, set them we sing of orphaned memories / decaying in the mire / we sing to you of things unlost / the angels in the wires
Favorite Photoshoots | Jodie Comer photographed by Tom Van Schelven for Stylist Magazine (2018)
